It’s a brilliant solution, we can sit back and trouser the readies while unpaid volunteers do all the work, kerching!
Boris brings in the Mounties to run Track and Trace
The Mountie’s always get their man, so we are going to use that expertise to track down the contacts and bring them in.
Track and Trace find’s Lord Lucan
Look at what we have found, A left-sided English mid-fielder, Lord Lucan and the rest of Boris’s children
Government to launch Track and Trace App for Fish
As soon as the company is registered at Companies House it will be awarded ‘loads of dosh’ to track and trace fish
Where’s Wally sponsor Boris’s world-beating Track and Trace Programme
The 3 book training programme; Wally goes to Barnard Castle, Wally goes to Specsavers and Wally’s in the Rose Garden.
EFL make it illegal to look at footballers prancing about, whilst wearing a trackie
EFL make it illegal to look at footballers whilst wearing a trackie
Leeds United
Orkney Islands safe again after Billy-Bob Bob IV tracks down and kills a Flossie with an Automatic Rifle
Orkney Islands safe again after Billy-Bob Bob IV tracks down and kills a Flossie with an Automatic Rifle
Harrods accidentally hires Satan for the Christmas Grotto
Harrods hires Satan for the Grotto, second-rate guitarists, Apprentice candidates and Tory MP’s are queuing out the door!
Britain to be battered by a biblical storm of bullshit, claims The Express
Once more a wave of bullshit emanates from the offices of The Daily Express and sweeps across the country.
Automaton wins the BBC’s annual (Sports) Lack of Personality Award
The annual lack of personality award goes to a colossal dullard.
Uh-oh Seven is hot on the trail of the supervillain, Government Mole
Christmas Nut-Nuts ends up buried in the Rose Garden under a pile of bullshit, while Blond restores the ammonia content of his compost heap.
Testing fiasco as Matt and Dido run out of fingers and toes to count on
Even though Matt took off his shoes, they couldn’t keep up with the rising numbers.