Chatty’s back and he’s bloody annoyed with England’s plastic patriots. You’ve woken him from his afternoon nap.
Rumours of The Chatty Chimp’s demise were a little previous
The Boris Johnson apology template to be used by Matt (TFH) Hancock
The official Cabinet Minster Apology Template, currently being used by Matt Hancock
Everyone thinks Minister is a soulless machine as he fails The Turing Test
Audience identifies minsters responses as a machine. Turing left baffled.
BBC News in meltdown as young Prince makes tinkle without Nanny
Meanwhile the mop used to clean the toilet is for sale on EBAY, where a Mr N Witch is winning with a bid of £2,000.
Sir Moore Patrick claims that Astronomy isn’t funny anymore
Astronomy is really boring, I thought there would be aliens and lasers and stuff but it is all just rocks.
“Europeansuperleagueistotallyatrocious” says Mary Poppins
It’s not supercalifragilisticexpialidocious it’s Europeansuperleagueistotallyatrocious
New evidence shows Van Gogh-Gogh-Gogh was born in Wales
Ewan Ewan, professional Welsher, is adamant that Van Gogh was proper Welsh and that going to Europe ruined him.
Mount Olympus cited over numerous Health and Safety violations
It’s Health and Safety gone mad, before you know it they will stop you having sex with the livestock next. Now, where is that Swan?
‘Traffic Wardens issue their own death penalty notice’ says shock study
It seems that Traffic Wardens are handing out their own Death Penalty Notice and the good old public are delighted.
Shock as Tory minister does not fraudulently misuse public money
He’s an old-fashioned politician, i.e. one with enough respect for the electorate to not get caught. They don’t make them like that anymore!
Britain to be battered by a biblical storm of bullshit, claims The Express
Once more a wave of bullshit emanates from the offices of The Daily Express and sweeps across the country.
‘Greed got me where I am today’ said Fat Boy Johnson
“There’s no such thing as a free lunch, I make them pay me to eat it!” says The Blonde Balloon
The Chatty Chimp 