All change at Newcastle United. Steve Bruce takes over as manager, the only bloke Mike Ashley could get to do the job
Steve Bruce the only bloke Mike Ashley could get to do the job
Armitage Shanks signs for Manchester United
Man Utd sign Armitage Shanks as their official urinal partner. But are they just taking the piss?
Scientists begin search for Australia’s missing backbone
Scientists begin search for Australia’s missing backbone. Does drinking pissy lager take away your pride?
Brexit Party storms to victory in the latest round of Statues
Brexit Party storms to victory in the latest round of International Statues by the unusual tactic of turning away from the field of play
Everyone deserves a fourth chance says Mo Salah
Every unrepentant pathological offender deserves an unlimited number of chances, “That’s why I’m backing Boris”, says Mo Salah
Mike Ashley lays out his plans for Newcastle Direct
Mike Ashley lays out his plans for Newcastle Direct. Penny pinching tycoon sets out ambitious plan to do nothing again
Carabao Cup draw takes place in the Morrisons soft drinks aisle
Trendsetting Carabao Cup draw takes place in Morrisons soft drinks aisle.
British Tennis officially graded as ‘shite again’
British Tennis officially rated as ‘shite again’
Champions League Final nearly as exciting as Bolton v Tadcaster in 1999
Champions League Final nearly as exciting as Bolton v Tadcaster in 1999
Woke parents disappointed following cancellation of the non-gendered carers Ovoid and Spoon race at non-competitive sports day
Woke parents disappointed following cancellation of the non-gendered carers Ovoid and Spoon race at non-competitive sports day
Controversy as ex-state school pupil joins England Cricket as Waterboy
Controversy as ex-state school pupil joins England Cricket as Waterboy
Grandad moves golf club after finding out his mates are Facebook racists
Grandad moves golf club after joining Facebook and discovering his mates are racists
The Chatty Chimp 