Man filling his carMonkey Business

Driver accused of killing the planet by having a full tank of petrol

Environmentalists have criticised a driver for topping his petrol tank up at the supermarket after he had done the weekly shop.

Ian Napton, a Social Worker, told us. “I was on my way out of Morrisons and thought I’d fill up the Fiesta as petrol tends to be a bit cheaper there than at my nearest garage. We’re off to see my family tomorrow and they’re 150 miles away. But when I headed to the shop to pay, a bunch of protesters with placards blocked my way and told me I was killing Polar Bears as I could have filled up tomorrow en route and now my car would emit more carbon monoxides due to being heavier with a full tank.”

“I asked them if they thought I should pay an extra fifteen pence per litre on the motorway and they said yes.”

Bob Longbeard, an environmentalist, told us, “It’s inconsiderate behaviour like this which is putting us all at risk. It’s bad enough that this man travels to see his family at all, but such reckless fuelling up just to save money makes our blood boil.”

Napton retorted, “Look, I’m not exactly British Airways. Most of the miles I travel are for my job as I’m employed as a care worker looking after old people. I’m entitled to see my family. I don’t expect to told where and how to buy petrol by a hippy. And by the way, does he seriously expect British Airways to pay any more for their fuel than I have to for mine?”

A spokesman for British Airways said, “Our business is expanding as celebrities travel around the world to attend environmental conferences and protests. It’s important that we keep fares as low as possible, so they can afford Business and First Class. We have to save every penny on the cost of fuel.”

Shares in British Airways are up more than 1% since the petrol forecourt protest.