If he didn’t know what to do with it, he could have phoned a friend!
Millionaire winner celebrates with a caravan holiday
colin
City reaps financial bonanza as pound plummets on No Deal
It’s been a difficult year, i know chaps who have struggled to make £20million, don’t know how they survive
Gavin, why did you do that to me? cries chronic underachiever
“I was quite happy with the downgrade, it saved an awkward conversation with my over achieving parents. I just want to go to Uni to drink, smoke pot and meet girls that I’ll totally fail to get off with.” Typical Student
Political transfer market is open for business
No other country has come in with a bid for Boris, even America would rather stick with Donald
Lawyers acting for the baby demand paternity test
Spokesmen for Eton, Oxford U and Ford Open Prison have confirmed that the baby is on the waiting list.
Donald Trump to be guinea pig for radical Corona Virus treatment
Despite no medical training what so ever Donald keeps giving out useless medical advice.
Making money is more important than lifesaving, says hedge fund manager
Look, it is the job of a hedge fund to fleece the market if it goes up or down, we don’t care which.
Queen to give up 30% of her income to help out the less fortunate
The cut means that the minor Royals will have to be furloughed until the crisis is over.
Deaf signer accused of misinterpreting what Boris said
Signer brings the country together when he accidentally calls Boris a wanker
Positive test for Charlie
After working from homes, Charlie, The Prince of Wales, has isolated himself in Scotland
Weinstein tests positive and begins 23 years isolation
He is well cared for, the neighbours are keeping a close eye on him, meals are shipped in and the alzheimer’s is coming along nicely
Theresa May hospitalised after pissing herself with laughter at Boris’s troubles!
Theresa has become severely dehydrated as she is constantly pissing herself with laughter. If Boris doesn’t stop it could kill her.
The Chatty Chimp 