Following his positive test for Covid 19, former Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein has gone into isolation for 23 years.

“It’s a long period to stay indoors,” a spokesman for the movie mogul said, “but the government is taking a strict stance on these things, and it’s the right thing to do. He’s receiving regular visits and being spoken to through a steel door. Neighbours are bringing him his meals, too.”

The duration of Weinstein’s isolation in Buffalo, New York could be open to debate.  Authorities in Los Angeles, California, where Weinstein spent a lot of time, are keen for his isolation to be longer still. “He’ll be 90 years old when he comes out of isolation as things stand and we’re not sure if he’ll be safe by then. Maybe another 15 years would do the trick.”

Known not to enjoy the best of health, if the disease takes hold of him properly, he might have only a short isolation period. 

The Trump administration was slow to get to grips with the virus, and the world’s collective hopes were dashed when Trump himself tested negative. 

Meanwhile, America continues.