My Proud Boys got a bit carried away, that’s all. I didn’t mean anything by it, it’s not my fault.
Hitler explains that he never meant for his followers to organise a putsch
Will Williamson Win the Chris Grayling Achievement Award?
With help and support it is possible that Gavin Williamson will be able to surpass the achievements of Chris Grayling.
Ex-President Trump says “Pardon me while I Pardonnez-Moi”
Ex-President Trump says well, pardonnez-mois
Government launches the COVID Regulations Game Show
COVID Regulations game show where the winners can win an online delivery slot at their supermarket of choice.
FOTUS 20 isn’t going without a tantrum
FOTUS refuses to accept his time is over, he claims 2021 is FAKENEWS and that he is the greatest FOTUS ever!
Nigel Farage promoted to Obergeneralcuntnant in this year’s Honours List
Obergeneralcuntnant Farage will receive his ward at the German Embassy in Buckingham Palace.
Automaton wins the BBC’s annual (Sports) Lack of Personality Award
The annual lack of personality award goes to a colossal dullard.
I like Frucking and I like to Fruck, If you don’t like Frucking, tough luck*
“Look, Boris, put your frucks away, I won’t tell you again!” says Nanny, in a forceful tone
European BDSM Research Group aren’t getting their punishment
Research Group members left weeping with disappointment after the harsh punishment they were promised was withdrawn.
Priti Patel’s office accidentally organisers her deportation
The Home Office was thrown into panic today after a mistake by an intern led to Priti Patel authorising her own deportation. It appears that Ms Patel’s personal details were given to […]
Babs bars Jesus from The Pearly Gates pub
I’m not having it, you can’t go around asking women if they are virgins, not in my pub
The Fat Lady is fed up with repeatedly singing the Star-Spangled Banner
Operatic soprano Obeesi Bracegirdle, The Fat Lady, has told the Chimp of her frustration with performing for the USA presidential election. Well, Honey, the deal was that I would sing the “The […]
The Chatty Chimp 