Sex – The Chatty Chimp

Long lost Charlie Duckins poem discovered in Chatty’s archives

I wish I was your bumble bee, my heart all true and solemn, I’d buzz around your honey-pot and suckle on your pollen

It was pink and glittery as advertised, but the skin looked suspiciously like spandex.

I’ll be ready once I’ve remodelled the kitchen and added a conservatory

Evil plan to give the NHS a bloody good dose of the clap, thwarted!

He is well cared for, the neighbours are keeping a close eye on him, meals are shipped in and the alzheimer’s is coming along nicely

Her Maj refers to Annus Horribilis II, but it is unclear to which Annus one is referring