Gongs clang as everyone bows to His Masters Voice. HMV to be saved for the benefit of the administrators.
Grift Vouchers can be purchased in the Lobby
HMV’s Grift Voucher Scheme will sell peerages, financial favours, ferrying contracts and government influence as part of a daring rescue plan
For Auld Lang’s Syne, one more beer won’t hurt
Xmas Hangover, days don’t work and a continuous diet of chocolate, cheese and past its best turkey isn’t working.
Hers’s to a very Happy New Year Everyone, have a wonderful 1956
Here is to a Happy New Year to everyone. The trouble is the year is 1956.
Making Britain grate again
Dr Fuchs announces that the Anglo-American swear word trade deal is ‘fu**ing done’
Dr Fuchs announces that the Anglo-American swear word trade deal is ‘fu**ing done’
Teenagers suffering anxiety, depression and PTSD as parents disconnect the WiFi over Xmas
Teenagers suffering anxiety, depression and PTSD as parents disconnect the WiFi over Xmas
Amazon delivery driver visits so often he’s coming for Xmas dinner
A parcel delivery driver visits the Jackson’s house so often he’s now coming for Xmas dinner
Maths genius finds a new number while calculating his Xmas spending
Maths genius discovers a new number when trying to work out how much money he spent at Xmas
The oldest firm of British stockbrokers, Plummety Plum and Sons, has closed its doors for the final time
The oldest firm of British stockbrokers, Plummety Plum and Sons, has closed its doors for the final time
Brexit problem solved by having one week’s No Brexit, one week’s Soft Brexit and finally a good hard one
Brexit problem solved by having one week’s No Brexit, one week’s Soft Brexit and finally a good hard one
Hark the herald angels sing, his bloody Auntie’s nicked my gin
While mothers washed their crocs by night,
Then put their turkey’s in’
Their idle families ate her chocs,
And then they nicked her gin.
Audiences are unhappy with Theresa May’s performance as the Unprincipled Boy in The Palace of Westminster Xmas Panto
Audiences are unhappy with Theresa May’s performance as the Unprincipled Boy in The Palace of Westminster Xmas Panto
Lewis Hamilton says he is too good for Stevenage
Lewis Hamilton says he is too good for Stevenage
The Chatty Chimp 