Spatch left the competition after his duck failed to impress the judges. The duck wasn’t too keen on him either.
Masterchef cancelled as Britain runs out of ruddy ducks!
NASA beaten by Ant and Dec on launch day
If NASA were more willing to get in a bath full of live rats, or spend a night in Newport, people might respond better to them.
Sound engineer lost in TV garden makeover maze for three years
He has been living on grubs and berries and collecting water in an old wellie boot!
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Cookery expert’s croissant bakes off TV Film crew
I just couldn’t get the croissants right, and I can be quite intense when I’m stressed.
Alan Partridge statute torn down by Comedians Lives Matter
He put boring, tedious, middle-class, white men on the comedy map. He paved the way for Michael McIntyre
Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose the sneakiest one of all?
Under the rule of six, the dwarves are cut down to five; Gropey, Dunc, Baleful, Sleazy and Creepy.
Millionaire winner celebrates with a caravan holiday
If he didn’t know what to do with it, he could have phoned a friend!
BBC to cancel their remaining funny programmes
As BBC Comedy moves to the political right, Mock The Week will be re-branded as Mock The Weak.
House of Commons stage Ice Dance Spectacular
Princess Flo is a kind soul who is gentle, charitable and caring: This angers Quill, who casts an evil spell over her that turns her heart to ice.
What A Carry On! starring Sid Johnson, Kenneth Williamson and Hatti Patel
The plot is ruddy hilarious, you’d think it could never happen in real life, but it has
Fantasy Theme Park visit doesn’t have a happy ending
It was pink and glittery as advertised, but the skin looked suspiciously like spandex.
The Chatty Chimp 