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BBC replace Newsnight host because she is too intelligent

The BBC Newsnight current affairs programme has replaced their regular host presenter Emily Maitlis for being ‘too intelligent’ in dissecting the government’s handling of Dominic Cummings’ lockdown trip to Durham.

An Intelligent Woman

A BBC spokesman explained the decision as “We can’t have a ‘bit of a looker’ blonde presenter opening the programme with an intelligent monologue stating the blindingly obvious in tune with the general mood of the country while at the same time blowing apart all the bullshit coming from Cummings and the Government”

Mark Francois
Spineless BBC spokesman

The programme confirmed Newsnight reporter Katie Razzall will present the show because “It’s a cheaper option than getting Jeremy Vine to do it”

Emily Maitlis has been reminded of her place in the order of things with strict instructions not to upset the powerful unelected Chief Advisor Dominic Cummings, nor his assistant the Prime Minister again.

As a warning in case of future transgressions she has been ordered to train as a tea lady

Yes, I mean you…oik

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