The BBC Newsnight current affairs programme has replaced their regular host presenter Emily Maitlis for being ‘too intelligent’ in dissecting the government’s handling of Dominic Cummings’ lockdown trip to Durham.
A BBC spokesman explained the decision as “We can’t have a ‘bit of a looker’ blonde presenter opening the programme with an intelligent monologue stating the blindingly obvious in tune with the general mood of the country while at the same time blowing apart all the bullshit coming from Cummings and the Government”
The programme confirmed Newsnight reporter Katie Razzall will present the show because “It’s a cheaper option than getting Jeremy Vine to do it”
Emily Maitlis has been reminded of her place in the order of things with strict instructions not to upset the powerful unelected Chief Advisor Dominic Cummings, nor his assistant the Prime Minister again.
As a warning in case of future transgressions she has been ordered to train as a tea lady
5-yr-old brought in to explain Liz Truss’s energy cap to Liz Truss
Liz, it was your policy, you announced it, the least you can do is understand it!
Universal Credit claimants welcome the chance to hide their money in UK-Based tax-havens
“No more flying to the Caymans to hide my money when I can just pootle along the M20 to hide my money” says Benefit Claimant.
The Pound achieves parity with The Peanut
As The Pound continues to plummet, the price of peanuts has been rising steadily. Nuts are seen as the safer option for investors.
Categories:Monkey News, Politics
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