Not only will this free hospital beds, allow us to cut social services, solve the TV license problem we will save a fortune in pension payments
At least the Corona Virus will reduce pension payments, says Boris
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Corona Virus upgraded to ‘kin serious now that a football match has been moved
Britain refuses to take Corona Virus seriously until football matches are moved.
The Psychotic Gunman of The Year Award goes to …
And the award for the ’employee thought most likely to machine gun a roomful of colleagues’ is…
All Hail Ming The Merciless, Emperor
Ming The Merciless heralds in a government for the wealthy by the wealthy.
Government opens up HS3, a chuffing service from Caernarfon to Rhyl
The Welsh Musket Train flying from Caernarfon to Rhyl in a day and a half.
Phillip Schofield has come out live on national television
Phillip Schofield comes out and admits “In 27 years, I’ve contributed nothing of any significant cultural value.”
Brexitvirus outbreak hits the UK
Brexitvirus hits UK, current outbreak is expected to last 25 years. A whole generation have lost their voice.
Man paying in race discrimination cheque arrested for ‘banking while black’
Police were called after a black man tried to deposit his cheque from a racial discrimination case. Yes, really!
Harry and Meghan withdraw from full time Royalling
Harry and Meghan have left the family firm and are starting out on their own. He’s handy with a spanner and she’ll be great at selling on QVC
Johnson upset Trump didn’t tell him to buy oil
Johnson laments the opportunity to make a few bucks following the assassination of Soleimani
Breaking News – Nigel Farage’s acceptance speech
Nigel Farage hails victory for The Brexit Party as it polled 3 Million votes and no MP’s. He warns Boris that he must deliver on tax cuts for the rich!
Breaking News – Corbyn’s Concession Speech
Corbyn’s hails the 159 seat deficit to the Tory Party as a Labour victory. ‘We’ve delivered a majority government, it’s just not ours!”
The Chatty Chimp 