Mario Brothers was forced to leave the field after he sustained a serious injury to his hair-do. Despite her best efforts, Sharon couldn’t fix the damage.
Footballer forced to leave the pitch after a serious injury to his hair-do
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As Rugby World Cup ends the working-class breathe a sigh of relief
After a year of posh sports with confusing rules, cricket and rugby, the nation is glad to get back to the simplicity of football.
Alabama offers political asylum to Tommy Robinson
Tommy to get political asylum in the Birmingham, Alabama where locals assure him he will fit right in.
Oxford University’s no clapping policy to be extended to Old Trafford
Oxford University have decided to ban clapping as it’s undermining to those of lesser ability. Manchester United are doing the same to protect their players
Grandad sent to a home after buying a copy of The Daily Mail
One family packed Grandad off to an Old Folks Home after he came home from the shops with a copy of The Daily Mail. “The shame of it!”, said his daughter.
Bristol top of the cocaine league for the second year running
In a tightly fought contest, Bristol beat Amsterdam, Paris and Madrid to become the cocaine capital of Europe. Russell Brand denies he lives there.
The Nobel Prize for Sciencing goes to Gwyneth Paltrow for Gloop
The Nobel Prize for Sciencing goes to Gwyneth Paltrow and her groundbreaking work with her company, Gloop. Proving looks trumps brains, every time.
Parliament’s Kitchen accidentally used cocaine in the Spotted Dick
House of Commons kitchen accidentally uses cocaine instead of baking powder in the Spotted Dick but not everyone dined in. Police baffled.
Civil War follows arrival of US Peacekeepers in Paradise
Donald Trump sends a peacekeeping mission to a peacful nation and starts a civil war. US Churches send Bibles, we send Prince Andrew. Gun sales boom!
Scientists have discovered a new mineral called Brexshite
Scientists have discoverd a new mineral, related to Bullshite, Gobshite and Dogshite, Brexshite has its own uniques set of properties.
Once again A Level results are the best ever
Once again exam pass rates have risen. There are 3 possibilities. 1. Teachers are better. 2 Pupils are smarter. 3 Government are making it up…It’s 3
BBC and ITV launch a new monthly streaming service – GammonTV
BBC and ITV launch new monthly streaming service – GammonTV – Programmes from the golden age of TV
The Chatty Chimp 