Once people realised that Twatter censored Cummings, then they started varying the spelling, that was when things really got out of control.
As Cummings goes, the Twatter porn censor algorithm is relieved
Makers of Giuliani’s hair dye deny any responsibility for streaking
‘It wasn’t us’, claim the makers of Rudi Giuliani’s hair dye.
Government mind control AI as effective as their other IT projects
Plans to use available technology to control the minds of the general public have been thrown into disarray with the going of Cummings.
Bullying claims denied after Priti Patel makes Boris Johnson shit himself
The shitting was incidental and in no way connected to Priti Patel, who is a kind, gentle, loving person.
Sack of rats are disgusted by the tawdry spectacle in Downing Street
Fancy comparing us to Johnson, Cummings and Symonds, it’s outrageous, we’d never behave like that!
Masterchef cancelled as Britain runs out of ruddy ducks!
Spatch left the competition after his duck failed to impress the judges. The duck wasn’t too keen on him either.
Boris Johnson apology template used again, this time it’s for Scotland
I’m very, very sorry that I got caught out. But on the plus side, look at the headlines! Brilliant!
Labour Party in bitter infighting shock
Once again, the Labour Party engages in its endless struggle against their eternal enemy, the Labour Party.
Dominic Cummings bromance ends, his going is a bolt from the blue
Boris said some harsh things, that really upset Dom, who is a sensitive soul.
NASA beaten by Ant and Dec on launch day
If NASA were more willing to get in a bath full of live rats, or spend a night in Newport, people might respond better to them.
Boris Johnson brings in Don Corleone as consigliere
Don Corleone believes that the Government are bringing organised crime into disrepute.
Donald Trump to sue Satan for breach of contract over election fiasco
“I want him to run the Pit of Despair, he is a natural.” says Satan
The Chatty Chimp 