In an effort to understand Jezza, some very bright people have put together a list of things Jeremy Corbyn does and does not give a f*ck about.
List of Things Jeremy Corbyn Does and Doesn’t Give A F*ck About
Jo Cox is ‘cool’ with Boris Johnson’s banter, says medium
A genuine psychic says that Jo Cox is cool with Boris Johnson’s banter and that since being dead she has changed her mind over Brexit and righteous smiting.
Boris unveils plans to rub out the word ‘Backstop’ from the Withdrawal Act
Boris Johnson, unveiled his wool pulling scheme to a credulous Tory audience. He plans to renegotiate Brexit by rubbing out the word ‘Backstop’.
Corbyn shits and gets off the pot but not in that order
Corbyn shits and gets off the pot but not necessarily in the right order, he refuses to shoot fish in a barrel, hit a cows arse with a banjo or shell peas.
Leaked memo reveals the truth behind some of Boris Johnson’s lies
Undergoing treatment for his chronic inability to tell the truth, Boris Johnson’s therapist’s notes have been leaked to the media.
Veteran Supreme Court Judge Rules Boris Johnson Is “A Bit Of A Pr*ck”
A Supreme Court Judge has ruled that Boris Johnson is, based on the evidence, a bit of a pri*k. There were no dissenting opinions.
Parliament’s Kitchen accidentally used cocaine in the Spotted Dick
House of Commons kitchen accidentally uses cocaine instead of baking powder in the Spotted Dick but not everyone dined in. Police baffled.
Boris Johnson offers Geoffrey Cox use of his personal apology template
Calamitous clown Boris Johnson has offered the AG, Geoffrey Cox, use of his personal apology template. ‘Everything you need is there’ said Boris.
“I’d have gotten away with it were it not for those pesky kids!” cries Boris
Masterplan foiled. “I’d have gotten away with it were it not for thise pesky kids!” cries Bozo The Clown. Sweet old Lady saved by Scooby and The Gang!
Jeremy Corbyn Prorogue’s Labour Party Conference
Fed up with his troublesome delegates, especially now he can’t be one, Jeremy Corbyn has decided to Prorogue the Labour Party Conference.
Brexit Is A F*cking Circus And We’re In The Cheap Seats, Says Wales
Meanwhile, not everyone in the UK House is happy about being left alone with the English. Now the Welsh have started looking for a new flat share!
Flatmates force Scotland to Move Out in row over living arrangements
Trouble in the flat tonight after Scotland announced she has had enough and was moving out. She’s found a nice wee place just off the coast of Cumbria.
The Chatty Chimp 