Nigel Farage, privately educated, multi-millionaire Man of the People decides not to stand in the upcoming election. Comedians and satirists are distraught.
Boris to set his Dad on Jeremy unless he stops being a meanie
Boris to send his Dad round to Jeremy’s as tension escalates over a General Election. Possible that this year’s nativity may be cancelled.
Corbyn released as no evidence he’s trying to bring down government
Following his arrest under the Terrorism Act, Jeremy Corbyn has been released as there’s insufficient evidence he intended to bring down the government.
“It doesn’t count, I had my fingers crossed” says Prime Minister
“It doesn’t count, I had my fingers crossed”, says Prime Minister, exhibiting Machiavellian statecraft. Politicians are in awe of the audacious move
Bob The Builder now Boris’s Senior Adviser
Bob The Builder has become the Senior Adviser to Boris Johnson. The new Manifesto has a resolutely positive theme. Can we fix it for me? Is the Tory cry
Will Boris be dead or alive when he goes into the ditch? The nation waits
As Boris pens his letter to Monsieur Barnier the nation waits to see if he will be dead when he is thrown into a ditch or will climb in of his own accord.
MP Suspended over sexual misconduct but it wasn’t Boris Johnson
An MP was suspended yesterday, following allegations of sexual impropriety. There was widespread surprise when it turned out to NOT be Boris Johnson.
Have you been mis-sold a Brexit? You may have a claim!
Where there is blame there is a claim. There has been lots of blame, now it’s time for the claim.
Parliament’s Saturday session contravenes the EU Working Time Directive
Parliament’s Saturday session contravenes the EU’S Working Time Directive. Staff health and safety is most important says Speaker.
ERG announce they have finally finished their study into Europe
European Research Group have finished their Government-funded study into Europe and determined it’s all full of Johnnie Foreigner and his rum customs.
EU delay response to Boris as they disagree on how to tell him to F*ck Off
The EU response to the latest proposal from Boris Johnson has been delayed as they cannot agree on the best way to tell him to F*ck Off
University Challenge rules out ‘Corbyn’ as answer to anything
University Challenge has ruled out Jeremy Corbyn as an answer to anything. After years of trying they are unable to come up with a suitable question.