Dick Braine resigned the UKIP Leadership despite having done nothing wrong. After 3 months in the role, he has decided he’s not cut out for politics.
Mr Braine resigns UKIP leadership despite having done nothing wrong
#VoteChair Campaign Ends In Disaster Following Night Out in Glasgow
After riding a wave of popularity the #VoteChair campaign finally came crashing down after a raucous night out in Galsgow. Not even Irn Bru could save it.
Busier than a Boris Johnson fact-checker
A Boris Johnson fact-checker has had to sign off work due to stress and overwork. He was unable to cope with all the lies, errors and misinformation.
UK in Chaos As Sky News Desk Furniture And General Election Hopeful Incites “Chairmageddon”
Chairmageddon as the DFS Sale ends. Furniture everywhere stage equal rights revolution. ‘No longer will we be playthings to be sat on by all and sundry’
Pupin wins Puppeteer of the Year with his show ‘The Puppet States’
Vladislav Pupin wins Puppeteer of the Year for the third time running. Claims that the inexplicably popular puppets were dangerous were laughed off, evilly.
Jeremy Corbyn promises free kittens and puppies for everyone
Jeremy Corbyn promises every house a new puppy or kitten if Labour win the next election, the plan will be paid through increased tax on Dog Jacket makers.
Nicola Sturgeon Sits Behind Sky News Chair Running In General Election
Nicola Sturgeon backs Vote Chair campaign, as it’s invited to Scotland where she’s hoping to capitalise on The Chair’s increasing popularity
Boris Johnson To Outlaw Furniture Following Popular Sky News Chair’s General Election Run
Boris Johnson has been losing ground to the Sky News Office Chair and has responded by outlawing furniture. Meanwhile The Chair’s popularity increases daily
Sky News Office Chair To Run In General Election
The Sky News Office Chair is to run in the General Election. Since out performing James Cleverly in a recent interview, the chair’s popularity has soared.
The Conservative Party Apology Template (GE19 Edition)
Once again the Tory party has managed to offend just abouit everyone who is not a party member. Here is the party’s apology template, for daily use.
“Sorry, forget my own head next” says Jacob Rees-Mogg
Even though the Election isn’t underway the strain is clearly telling on JRM. Thinking he was discussing Brexit, it turned out to be Grenfell. Juggins!
Tory wins seat after saying “Benefit claimants should be put down!”
Tory candidate wins seat in GE2019 by a landslide after suggesting that Benefit Claimants should be put down. Tory HQ very excited by the proposal.
The Chatty Chimp 