“It’s another BoJo special, millions spent and nothing ever built.” says Heath Robinson, Builder.
Johnson to defeat storms by fitting the UK with double glazing
Gloop launches new Vampire Repellent spray
Have you seen a vampire? No, well that’s proof that it works!
The News Where You Aren’t – Episode 2
The News Where You Aren’t by Eden Luke McIntyre, featuring NASA Astronaut Boris Johnson, John Bercow’s showbiz plans, unmentionable diseases and Dr Who’s hash dealing enterprise.
Met Office to reboot Stonehenge in IT upgrade
The Stonehenge will give real-time data. If it’s wet, there’s rain about, shady it’ll be sunny and if a top stone is on the ground there’ll be a bit of a blow
Britain is to be turned into a waterpark!
Boris Island Waterpark will offer slides, lazy rivers and an array of watersports.
The Police launch hunt for 20,000 missing Bobbies
“You’d think 20,000 men in pointy hats would be easy to find, but no, not a sign of them” says Chief Constable
Jeremy Clarkson comes out as a Caravaneer
It’s been classic over-compensation. I’ve always loved them but I could never admit but now, in the 21st Century I can say, I am a Caravaneer!
All Hail Ming The Merciless, Emperor
Ming The Merciless heralds in a government for the wealthy by the wealthy.
‘For God’s sake buy her Valentine’s Day flowers’ warns regretful idiot
Man in the Valentine’s Day doghouse issues warning to other men, “For goodness sake, spend the money!”
The News Where You Aren’t – Episode 1
The News Where You Aren’t by Eden Luke McIntyre, featuring NASA Astronaut Boris Johnson, John Bercow’s showbiz plans, unmentionable diseases and Dr Who’s hash dealing enterprise.
Government opens up HS3, a chuffing service from Caernarfon to Rhyl
The Welsh Musket Train flying from Caernarfon to Rhyl in a day and a half.
BJ’s word ban spells joy for makers of correction fluid
Shares in Tittex have risen sharply as Boris bans the use of certain words as he tries to spin his web of lies. Correction fluid now in short supply
The Chatty Chimp 