Well I never, i thought it would alert me to infected people, never did I dream it was a shopping list of eligible men.
Covid App trial cancelled after designer’s Gran signs up to Tinder by mistake
The Great Lockdown Escape Plan, featuring every Tom, Dick and Harry
Dig your way to victory.
‘NAMETESTS’ App Tells Truth Shock
Answering pointless questions on social media unexpectedly reveals the truth about you.
Premier League season to be finished using Subbuteo
Subbuteo, where players can’t fall down, the ref’s word is law and there is an awful lot of flicking going on.
Rebellious Retirees Rumbled
Matt makes a right Hancock out of rules for the over 70s as lockdown eases
Lawyers acting for the baby demand paternity test
Spokesmen for Eton, Oxford U and Ford Open Prison have confirmed that the baby is on the waiting list.
Donald Trump to be guinea pig for radical Corona Virus treatment
Despite no medical training what so ever Donald keeps giving out useless medical advice.
BBC News coverage to be cut to 10 minutes a day
‘Same shit different day has never been more true than now, we may as well save some dosh’ says BBC Exec
Carol Vorderman to give the Government maths lessons
Threehundredthousandfourhundredandthirtysixthousandandsevenhundredandtwerty isn’t a mathematical number
Cupid issues a public apology to Carrie Symonds
“I’ll get myself down to Specsavers, should have gone there in the first place” says Cupid
Are you a funny bugger? Could you write for The Chatty Chimp?
Have a go, send your story to submissions@chattychimp.co
Making money is more important than lifesaving, says hedge fund manager
Look, it is the job of a hedge fund to fleece the market if it goes up or down, we don’t care which.
The Chatty Chimp 