When it comes to justifying failure you need someone with lots of experience.
Hancock appoints proven failure, Dido Harding, to take the blame
Attempts to organise a piss-up in a brewery on hold
Failing to ‘pour himself a pint’ from the brewery’s 8,000 barrels, causing a fire and drowning several staff members
Rebellious Retirees Rumbled
Matt makes a right Hancock out of rules for the over 70s as lockdown eases
Matt Hancock preparing Expletive Speech
Look, it’s not complicated you C%$^, just stay the f%^& away from every other c^&*
Grandad, what did you do in the Corona War?
“When it comes to lying in front of the TV all day, doing cock all, I am your man,” says Grandad
Fit Driver gets revenge on Traffic Warden by parking in a disabled bay
“He got me months ago, but there was no one about today so I parked there again, I walked 1.5 miles to the shop but I showed him”
Anger simmers in the suburbs
Golf, golf, golf, that is all he thinks about! I’m sure he prefers his golfing buddies to me!
Mark Francois to stand in for Boris Johnson
A good soldier is always ready, I’ve got my potato-peeler
Positive test for Charlie
After working from homes, Charlie, The Prince of Wales, has isolated himself in Scotland
French fashion labels to bling COVID-19 face masks
Bringing a bit of je ne sai quoi to the international pandemic.
NHS Staff to be fitted with Gimp Suits to meet PPE shortage
We’re all doing very well, says Government. We are ordering the fetish wear because we want to make sure staff are fully protected and not because we forgot
Teenage boys in danger of dehydration from excessive ‘activity’ warns Doctor
Teenage boys likely to engage in ‘activity’ more often than a Bonobo on Crack
The Chatty Chimp 