The Sky News Office Chair is to run in the General Election. Since out performing James Cleverly in a recent interview, the chair’s popularity has soared.
Sky News Office Chair To Run In General Election
God’s message to humanity
After an American Congressman said “Don’t worry, God will sort out climate change”, God responded.”Last time I was here it was a paradise. Now look at it!”
James Bond has his licence to kill revoked
Mr Bond has had his licence to kill revoked. No longer will he be allowed to kill, blow up undersea bases or sleep with women.
The Conservative Party Apology Template (GE19 Edition)
Once again the Tory party has managed to offend just abouit everyone who is not a party member. Here is the party’s apology template, for daily use.
Teachers claim “there are not enough hours in the day” so the DfE has increased the day to 27 hours
In its relentless drive to make teachers lives more miserable, the DfE has added 3 extra hours to the day, claiming that ‘now there are enough hours’.
“Sorry, forget my own head next” says Jacob Rees-Mogg
Even though the Election isn’t underway the strain is clearly telling on JRM. Thinking he was discussing Brexit, it turned out to be Grenfell. Juggins!
Tory wins seat after saying “Benefit claimants should be put down!”
Tory candidate wins seat in GE2019 by a landslide after suggesting that Benefit Claimants should be put down. Tory HQ very excited by the proposal.
Nigel Farage finally gets the message
Nigel Farage, privately educated, multi-millionaire Man of the People decides not to stand in the upcoming election. Comedians and satirists are distraught.
Johnsons Out for Xmas
Johnson has threatened to bare all if he doesn’t get his way. Will it be a hard one? or a softie? the nation awaits with bated breath, for the big climax
Boris to set his Dad on Jeremy unless he stops being a meanie
Boris to send his Dad round to Jeremy’s as tension escalates over a General Election. Possible that this year’s nativity may be cancelled.
Emeritus Professor of History, Donald Maximus Trump re-writes American History
History Professor, Donald Maximus Trump has suggested that American have had a relationship with Italy, since Ancient Rome. Oh! how the world laughed.
MP Suspended over sexual misconduct but it wasn’t Boris Johnson
An MP was suspended yesterday, following allegations of sexual impropriety. There was widespread surprise when it turned out to NOT be Boris Johnson.
The Chatty Chimp 