Anyone entering Frangleterre will require a blue passport, travel insurance and a GB sticker on the back of the car.
bernard
Booker Prize For Fiction goes to Dominic Cummoffit
Described as a fantastical tale, that confused the reader and explained nothing, the prize committee said it was a worthy winner.
Covid App trial cancelled after designer’s Gran signs up to Tinder by mistake
Well I never, i thought it would alert me to infected people, never did I dream it was a shopping list of eligible men.
Police to enforce social distancing by using a British Yardstick
The French will make The British Yardstick by cutting the handles off OAP’s walking sticks. Under EU rules, the stick will be in meters.
Johnson to defeat storms by fitting the UK with double glazing
“It’s another BoJo special, millions spent and nothing ever built.” says Heath Robinson, Builder.
BJ’s word ban spells joy for makers of correction fluid
Shares in Tittex have risen sharply as Boris bans the use of certain words as he tries to spin his web of lies. Correction fluid now in short supply
Send your unwanted Brexit coins to The Chatty Chimp
The Chatty Chimp will dispose of any unwanted Brexit Day 50 pence pieces on your behalf. We promise to spend it on beer,cheese and peanuts!
Man with a slight head cold insists he is on the verge of death
Man with a slight head cold insists he is on the verge of death, whilst his wife is less than sympathetic.
Boris admits soldiers will die in Iraq but it’s a sacrifice he’s willing to make
America, peacefully pacifying the middle-east through the use of very friendly bombs.
With a 2-1 defeat at Man Utd, Mourinho announces that ‘He’s Back!’
Mourinho lets the rest of the Premier League know he is back and that he means business. Following a couple of wins, normal service has been resumed.
Geppetto Johnsoni makes an urgent appeal for Pinocchio to come home
Geppetto Johnsoni makes an urgent appeal for Pinocchio to come home. The little scamp has gone missing and that means someone is getting lied to.
Nigel Farage finally gets the message
Nigel Farage, privately educated, multi-millionaire Man of the People decides not to stand in the upcoming election. Comedians and satirists are distraught.
The Chatty Chimp 