It’s Health and Safety gone mad, before you know it they will stop you having sex with the livestock next. Now, where is that Swan?
‘Traffic Wardens issue their own death penalty notice’ says shock study
It seems that Traffic Wardens are handing out their own Death Penalty Notice and the good old public are delighted.
Shock as Tory minister does not fraudulently misuse public money
He’s an old-fashioned politician, i.e. one with enough respect for the electorate to not get caught. They don’t make them like that anymore!
Britain to be battered by a biblical storm of bullshit, claims The Express
Once more a wave of bullshit emanates from the offices of The Daily Express and sweeps across the country.
‘Greed got me where I am today’ said Fat Boy Johnson
“There’s no such thing as a free lunch, I make them pay me to eat it!” says The Blonde Balloon
The Met reclaims streets from Clapham Common protestors
The Met reclaims the streets from women standing quietly, holding candles and remembering the life of a woman, brutally murdered by a man.
ITV airs three hours of silence in memory of Piers Morgan
Piers Morgan quits Good Morning Britain after being beaten up by the weatherman.
Track and Trace Consultants are ‘Geo’ cashing in
It’s a brilliant solution, we can sit back and trouser the readies while unpaid volunteers do all the work, kerching!
Priti Patel claims she is innocent after massive pay-off to bullying victim
We would like to make it clear that there is no suggestion that an enormous cash pay off in anyway suggests that Priti Patel is guilty, absolutely not.
Gove confirms he hasn’t got any mates to give PPE contracts to
At times it’s hard to be Tory, when you don’t have any friends to give fat, juicy, Corona Virus contracts to.
Thames Water to use politicians bullshit to power homes
There are plans to extend the renewable energy scheme to Town Halls, Churches and Piers Morgan’s studio.
Meghan and Harry announce they are expecting second slice of cake
Meghan and Harry announce that they are going to live a more private life in the full glare of world wide publicity.