Since its installation in 2012, the update has failed to perform. Various high profile patches Ref V16, Grayling V2-18 and Hancockup19 failed to fix the problem.
Xmas cheer as Lockdown means Uncle Jack isn’t coming for Xmas
I grew up with him, so you get used to it, but it’ no fun for the rest of the family.
Gandalf, Bilbo and Frodo are leaving the Shire for the Elven Tax Havens
It was bad enough when the Council of Elrond was prorogued, but after Wetherspoons took over the Prancing Pony at Bree, that was the final straw.
Fat Santa told to shield during the bleak mid-winter
Fat Santa ordered to shield from Corona Virus as his weight, diet and lifestyle means he’s in the high-risk group.
Cookery expert’s croissant bakes off TV Film crew
I just couldn’t get the croissants right, and I can be quite intense when I’m stressed.
Paddington Bear seeks treatment for Marmalade addiction
Paddington’s Marmalade addiction is out of control. He is undergoing treatment to wean him off the orange fruit.
Catholic Church in schism over Pineapple on Pizza
Cardinal Mott Zarella says that putting a pineapple on pizza is a sin.
Testing fiasco as Matt and Dido run out of fingers and toes to count on
Even though Matt took off his shoes, they couldn’t keep up with the rising numbers.
e-gull drones to disperse illegal crowds, raves and demo’s
E-Gulls can stay up for hours, monitoring events before squawking, pooping and flying down to nick your chips
The Federal United King Dom
As Britain proceeds to turn itself into a Domocracy, it will cease to be the UK and become Royally FUKD.
Drones to deliver e-bollockings to groups of 6 or more
Howler drones will identify groups of more than 6, then they will deliver an e-bollocking until they’ve gone
Alan Partridge statute torn down by Comedians Lives Matter
He put boring, tedious, middle-class, white men on the comedy map. He paved the way for Michael McIntyre