Astronomy is really boring, I thought there would be aliens and lasers and stuff but it is all just rocks.
Sir Moore Patrick claims that Astronomy isn’t funny anymore
New evidence shows Van Gogh-Gogh-Gogh was born in Wales
Ewan Ewan, professional Welsher, is adamant that Van Gogh was proper Welsh and that going to Europe ruined him.
Mount Olympus cited over numerous Health and Safety violations
It’s Health and Safety gone mad, before you know it they will stop you having sex with the livestock next. Now, where is that Swan?
‘Traffic Wardens issue their own death penalty notice’ says shock study
It seems that Traffic Wardens are handing out their own Death Penalty Notice and the good old public are delighted.
Shock as Tory minister does not fraudulently misuse public money
He’s an old-fashioned politician, i.e. one with enough respect for the electorate to not get caught. They don’t make them like that anymore!
Britain to be battered by a biblical storm of bullshit, claims The Express
Once more a wave of bullshit emanates from the offices of The Daily Express and sweeps across the country.
The Met reclaims streets from Clapham Common protestors
The Met reclaims the streets from women standing quietly, holding candles and remembering the life of a woman, brutally murdered by a man.
ITV airs three hours of silence in memory of Piers Morgan
Piers Morgan quits Good Morning Britain after being beaten up by the weatherman.
Meghan and Harry announce they are expecting second slice of cake
Meghan and Harry announce that they are going to live a more private life in the full glare of world wide publicity.
“We did all we could,” says the Captain of Titanic
It was a titanic success says the government despite evidence to the contrary.
The Shite strikes Free Trade Agreement with Mordor
The Shite strikes a Free Trade Agreement with Mordor because it is a long way off and hard to get to
British Fish are as happy as a horse in a lasagne
British Fish are jolly happy to be back in British Waters says over-entitled cockwomble
The Chatty Chimp 