Jo Swinson hails the Lib Dems as future kingmakers and apologises for getting into bed with Boris Johnson, because a Lib Dem can’t resist a posho!
Breaking News – Jo Swinson’s Acceptance Speech
Breaking News – The Boris Johnson acceptance speech
Boris promises to do the best he can with what he has got. Dominic says it will be alright in the end.
Breaking News – Nigel Farage’s acceptance speech
Nigel Farage hails victory for The Brexit Party as it polled 3 Million votes and no MP’s. He warns Boris that he must deliver on tax cuts for the rich!
Johnson summoned to Head’s Study after his bad behaviour in Assembly
Master Johnson has been summoned to the Headmaster’s Study following some rude, offensive and insulting behaviour in Assembly.
Geppetto Johnsoni makes an urgent appeal for Pinocchio to come home
Geppetto Johnsoni makes an urgent appeal for Pinocchio to come home. The little scamp has gone missing and that means someone is getting lied to.
With Brexit done, Sir Nigel Farage releases his autobiography ‘My Struggle’
With Brexit done, the privately educated, multi-millionaire, man of the people, Sir Nigel Farage releases his autobography ‘My Struggle’.
Marmite referendum – turns out you love it
The results are in Britain loves it. In fact they can’t get enough of it. Now everyone will have to love it too.
World’s greatest detectives can’t find a politicians promise being honoured
The World’s greatest detectives have been unable to find any evidence of a politicians election promise being honoured. “It’s all bull” says Miss Marple
EU Immigrant wins British money in Euromillions lottery win
Immigrant wins British money in EU lottery. Daily Mail readers devastated at immigrants coming over here winning our money and shagging our builders
Mr Braine resigns UKIP leadership despite having done nothing wrong
Dick Braine resigned the UKIP Leadership despite having done nothing wrong. After 3 months in the role, he has decided he’s not cut out for politics.
Pupin wins Puppeteer of the Year with his show ‘The Puppet States’
Vladislav Pupin wins Puppeteer of the Year for the third time running. Claims that the inexplicably popular puppets were dangerous were laughed off, evilly.
Marmite demands a referendum – do we hate it or love it?
Finally it’s time to resolve the age old dilemma, Marmite, Love it or Hate it, you get to decide. Unfortunately the country seems divided once again.
The Chatty Chimp 