Jeremy Corbyn promises every house a new puppy or kitten if Labour win the next election, the plan will be paid through increased tax on Dog Jacket makers.
Jeremy Corbyn promises free kittens and puppies for everyone
Nicola Sturgeon Sits Behind Sky News Chair Running In General Election
Nicola Sturgeon backs Vote Chair campaign, as it’s invited to Scotland where she’s hoping to capitalise on The Chair’s increasing popularity
Musk says ‘Tesla Ich bin ein Binliner’
The world’s fastest growing car company set up their European base in Germany, not Britain because of Brexit. It’s like Musk doesn’t know we won the war!
Boris Johnson To Outlaw Furniture Following Popular Sky News Chair’s General Election Run
Boris Johnson has been losing ground to the Sky News Office Chair and has responded by outlawing furniture. Meanwhile The Chair’s popularity increases daily
The Conservative Party Apology Template (GE19 Edition)
Once again the Tory party has managed to offend just abouit everyone who is not a party member. Here is the party’s apology template, for daily use.
“Sorry, forget my own head next” says Jacob Rees-Mogg
Even though the Election isn’t underway the strain is clearly telling on JRM. Thinking he was discussing Brexit, it turned out to be Grenfell. Juggins!
Tory wins seat after saying “Benefit claimants should be put down!”
Tory candidate wins seat in GE2019 by a landslide after suggesting that Benefit Claimants should be put down. Tory HQ very excited by the proposal.
Nigel Farage finally gets the message
Nigel Farage, privately educated, multi-millionaire Man of the People decides not to stand in the upcoming election. Comedians and satirists are distraught.
“It doesn’t count, I had my fingers crossed” says Prime Minister
“It doesn’t count, I had my fingers crossed”, says Prime Minister, exhibiting Machiavellian statecraft. Politicians are in awe of the audacious move
Bob The Builder now Boris’s Senior Adviser
Bob The Builder has become the Senior Adviser to Boris Johnson. The new Manifesto has a resolutely positive theme. Can we fix it for me? Is the Tory cry
Will Boris be dead or alive when he goes into the ditch? The nation waits
As Boris pens his letter to Monsieur Barnier the nation waits to see if he will be dead when he is thrown into a ditch or will climb in of his own accord.
Have you been mis-sold a Brexit? You may have a claim!
Where there is blame there is a claim. There has been lots of blame, now it’s time for the claim.
The Chatty Chimp 