FOTUS refuses to accept his time is over, he claims 2021 is FAKENEWS and that he is the greatest FOTUS ever!
FOTUS 20 isn’t going without a tantrum
Nigel Farage promoted to Obergeneralcuntnant in this year’s Honours List
Obergeneralcuntnant Farage will receive his ward at the German Embassy in Buckingham Palace.
Automaton wins the BBC’s annual (Sports) Lack of Personality Award
The annual lack of personality award goes to a colossal dullard.
I like Frucking and I like to Fruck, If you don’t like Frucking, tough luck*
“Look, Boris, put your frucks away, I won’t tell you again!” says Nanny, in a forceful tone
European BDSM Research Group aren’t getting their punishment
Research Group members left weeping with disappointment after the harsh punishment they were promised was withdrawn.
Priti Patel’s office accidentally organisers her deportation
The Home Office was thrown into panic today after a mistake by an intern led to Priti Patel authorising her own deportation. It appears that Ms Patel’s personal details were given to […]
Babs bars Jesus from The Pearly Gates pub
I’m not having it, you can’t go around asking women if they are virgins, not in my pub
The Fat Lady is fed up with repeatedly singing the Star-Spangled Banner
Operatic soprano Obeesi Bracegirdle, The Fat Lady, has told the Chimp of her frustration with performing for the USA presidential election. Well, Honey, the deal was that I would sing the “The […]
‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ slammed for encouraging lockdown breaches
“This song is incredibly insensitive, with its insidious subtext and elitist culture” says woke singleton, Paul
Foot injury claims against Lego jump to a record high
“ooyabastidfookinell” yield Dad as he made the classic error of walking across his child’s bedroom in his socks
Owner of the original Time Machine now in Government
A man of portly stature, a buffoon type, blustering, with his clownish personality hiding a manipulative and coercive nature.
Applications for OIrish citizenship increase by 63 million on No-Deal Brexit
Jacob Sea-Fogg confirmed he was ok as he’d moved all his money to Dublin and bought County Kildare.
The Chatty Chimp 