The shitting was incidental and in no way connected to Priti Patel, who is a kind, gentle, loving person.
Bullying claims denied after Priti Patel makes Boris Johnson shit himself
Sack of rats are disgusted by the tawdry spectacle in Downing Street
Fancy comparing us to Johnson, Cummings and Symonds, it’s outrageous, we’d never behave like that!
Masterchef cancelled as Britain runs out of ruddy ducks!
Spatch left the competition after his duck failed to impress the judges. The duck wasn’t too keen on him either.
Boris Johnson apology template used again, this time it’s for Scotland
I’m very, very sorry that I got caught out. But on the plus side, look at the headlines! Brilliant!
Labour Party in bitter infighting shock
Once again, the Labour Party engages in its endless struggle against their eternal enemy, the Labour Party.
Dominic Cummings bromance ends, his going is a bolt from the blue
Boris said some harsh things, that really upset Dom, who is a sensitive soul.
NASA beaten by Ant and Dec on launch day
If NASA were more willing to get in a bath full of live rats, or spend a night in Newport, people might respond better to them.
Boris Johnson brings in Don Corleone as consigliere
Don Corleone believes that the Government are bringing organised crime into disrepute.
Donald Trump to sue Satan for breach of contract over election fiasco
“I want him to run the Pit of Despair, he is a natural.” says Satan
Nest of Vipers offended at being compared to Boris Johnson’s back office
Vipers are offended at the very idea of being compared to the slithery, sleazy, creepy bastards that fill Johnson’s back office.
The Government are to furlough the lack of opposition parties
No, it’s not a threat to democracy, it is not like they are doing anything anyway.
Donald Trump to stand for The Official Monster Raving Loony Party
“We’re loonies not nutters” said Barmy Lord Brockman, Official Monster Raving Loony Candidate