“ooyabastidfookinell” yield Dad as he made the classic error of walking across his child’s bedroom in his socks
Foot injury claims against Lego jump to a record high
Owner of the original Time Machine now in Government
A man of portly stature, a buffoon type, blustering, with his clownish personality hiding a manipulative and coercive nature.
Applications for OIrish citizenship increase by 63 million on No-Deal Brexit
Jacob Sea-Fogg confirmed he was ok as he’d moved all his money to Dublin and bought County Kildare.
Johnson brings back tier system to piss off Andy Burnham
Andy Burnham gets trolled by Boris as the tier system is reintroduced.
This year’s must-have Xmas gift is the Apple iSock
Just in time for Xmas, Apple unveils this year’s must have Xmas gift, the eagerly anticipated iSock X
Anti Bullshit vaccine is 98.5% effective
The impact on social media micro-advertising is expected to be dramatic.
Vaccines Front-Man disputes he’s 94% effective
94% effectiveness is a slur on the Vaccines good name! We always give total satisfaction, guaranteed.
Christmas Truce football match cancelled as angry COVID storms out
I’d already erected the goalposts, painted the lines, and was partway through slicing the oranges.
Does Rupert Bear sh*t in the woods? …erm…Yes, he does
You can take the bear out of the woods, but when it comes to taking the wood out of the bear, there is only one place to do it.
Pooh runs rampant as hunny addiction spirals out of control
Pooh has bene caught in an undercover hunnytrap. After the fuzz tried to by some ‘pure’.
Uh-oh Seven is hot on the trail of the supervillain, Government Mole
Christmas Nut-Nuts ends up buried in the Rose Garden under a pile of bullshit, while Blond restores the ammonia content of his compost heap.
Melania lets Donald get off the naughty step
Melania has taken a very firm line, having left him on the naughty step until he bucked his ideas up.
The Chatty Chimp 