Would you adam it? fuckin’ Paris, says The Mockney Lad.
As air quality improves the Eiffel Tower is now visible from The Shard
Police to enforce social distancing by using a British Yardstick
The French will make The British Yardstick by cutting the handles off OAP’s walking sticks. Under EU rules, the stick will be in meters.
God, the Big G, the Lad Himself, has decided to self-isolate
The Big G has self-isolated, his Doctor insists it is merely a precaution. The faithful would pray for him but ….
Queen to give up 30% of her income to help out the less fortunate
The cut means that the minor Royals will have to be furloughed until the crisis is over.
Remember to delete your browsing history before you’re admitted to hospital
Turns out that Grandad had secret passion for One Direction, I just thank God that no-one else knew about it
Matt Hancock preparing Expletive Speech
Look, it’s not complicated you C%$^, just stay the f%^& away from every other c^&*
Highgate Head claims being a ‘Shakra and Vibration Guru’ doesn’t qualify you as a key worker
Look after your own bloody child says stressed out head and take your bloody crystals with you
Grandad, what did you do in the Corona War?
“When it comes to lying in front of the TV all day, doing cock all, I am your man,” says Grandad
Staycation? You’ve got to be kidding
As the public once again ignore requests to help Britain by holidaying at home in favour of sun, sangria and sex!
Deaf signer accused of misinterpreting what Boris said
Signer brings the country together when he accidentally calls Boris a wanker
Accidental community hero honoured by his neighbours
I’ll be ready once I’ve remodelled the kitchen and added a conservatory
Fit Driver gets revenge on Traffic Warden by parking in a disabled bay
“He got me months ago, but there was no one about today so I parked there again, I walked 1.5 miles to the shop but I showed him”
The Chatty Chimp 