The plot is ruddy hilarious, you’d think it could never happen in real life, but it has
What A Carry On! starring Sid Johnson, Kenneth Williamson and Hatti Patel
Government changes procurement rules to the Service Contract Assignment Method (SCAM)
The Service Contract Assignment Method will ensure transparency when it comes to bribes and back handers
Isolated tribe of Special Advisers roam the corridors of power
It appears that the policies they have devised are so impenetrably convoluted that even the politicians can’t understand them.
Yorkshire people are banned from London
They are easy to identify with their, pasty white skin, glum expression and ginger tinge
Donald Trump moves up to the 3rd Grade
“I did the remembering thing, with the things and then I did that thing with the letters” says Moron.
Foreign agents must register for a ‘Right to Spy’ permit
The one thing Russia doesn’t need to bother spying on is Britain. No! they bought that years ago.
Apple are the big winners as Huawei lose Voice of God contract
Old Harry from Huawei says “this is either. a plot to discredit a fine upstanding organisation, racism or none of your bloody business”
Chris Grayling earns his own chapter in The Book of Heroic Failures
With a Government majority of 80, the PM’s support, and Cummings strategizing he still lost to someone nobody had heard of!
Rashford says “Don’t you make me come down there and sort this out!”
If this Daniel Rashford hadn’t starved as a child, who knows where he would have ended up. Arsenal Rovers probably!
Attempts to organise a piss-up in a brewery on hold
Failing to ‘pour himself a pint’ from the brewery’s 8,000 barrels, causing a fire and drowning several staff members
Piers Morgan injures himself by falling off his High Horse
His High Horse is huge, measuring 21 egos and generating a tin of shite
The Silent Majority, Choir Invisibule and Absent Friends join Trump Rally
One delegate from The Silent Majority said, “……………..”
The Chatty Chimp 