Discovery of a Golden McNuggett sparks gold rush. The rare Scottish delicacy is thought to be worth millions when sold to hipsters from a South London shed.
Discovery of a giant Golden McNuggett sparks Scottish gold rush
EU Immigrant wins British money in Euromillions lottery win
Immigrant wins British money in EU lottery. Daily Mail readers devastated at immigrants coming over here winning our money and shagging our builders
Sixty-Year Old Former Doctor Who Paul McGann Reveals He’s Actually A Time Traveller
Dr Who reveals that he’s an actual time traveller, which is why he never ages. Jeff Lynne is not amused, as the Dr’s has left him stuck in Birmingham.
Composers Network presents With Memories – a review by Tim Marriott
Composers Network presented a moving performance of new work themed on living with dementia, in support of Memory Lane
Musk says ‘Tesla Ich bin ein Binliner’
The world’s fastest growing car company set up their European base in Germany, not Britain because of Brexit. It’s like Musk doesn’t know we won the war!
Boris sends his favourite bath-sponge to help the people of South Yorkshire
Boris Johnson’s responds to the flooding crisis in South Yorkshire by sending his favourite bath-sponge. They aren’t Tory consituencies, so why bother?
God’s message to humanity
After an American Congressman said “Don’t worry, God will sort out climate change”, God responded.”Last time I was here it was a paradise. Now look at it!”
Teachers claim “there are not enough hours in the day” so the DfE has increased the day to 27 hours
In its relentless drive to make teachers lives more miserable, the DfE has added 3 extra hours to the day, claiming that ‘now there are enough hours’.
Composers Network proudly present “With Memories”
The Composers Network present “With Memories”, using music to explore issues related to dementia and raise money for Memory Lane
Grandad sent to a home after buying a copy of The Daily Mail
One family packed Grandad off to an Old Folks Home after he came home from the shops with a copy of The Daily Mail. “The shame of it!”, said his daughter.
Composers Network proudly present “With Memories”
The Composers Network present “With Memories”, using music to explore issues related to dementia and raise money for Memory Lane
Bristol top of the cocaine league for the second year running
In a tightly fought contest, Bristol beat Amsterdam, Paris and Madrid to become the cocaine capital of Europe. Russell Brand denies he lives there.
The Chatty Chimp 