As the public once again ignore requests to help Britain by holidaying at home in favour of sun, sangria and sex!
Staycation? You’ve got to be kidding
Deaf signer accused of misinterpreting what Boris said
Signer brings the country together when he accidentally calls Boris a wanker
Accidental community hero honoured by his neighbours
I’ll be ready once I’ve remodelled the kitchen and added a conservatory
Fit Driver gets revenge on Traffic Warden by parking in a disabled bay
“He got me months ago, but there was no one about today so I parked there again, I walked 1.5 miles to the shop but I showed him”
Anger simmers in the suburbs
Golf, golf, golf, that is all he thinks about! I’m sure he prefers his golfing buddies to me!
Mark Francois to stand in for Boris Johnson
A good soldier is always ready, I’ve got my potato-peeler
National plea for relief from Tedious Uplifting Songs
For God’s sake spare us from this uplifting shite!
Wannabe super villain misunderstands ‘Clap For Our NHS’
Evil plan to give the NHS a bloody good dose of the clap, thwarted!
After 2 days in lockdown, a couple married for 30 years are to divorce
How does her brain keep going, filled with all that rubbish, it just flows out of her, 24/7
Positive test for Charlie
After working from homes, Charlie, The Prince of Wales, has isolated himself in Scotland
Mike Cashley to use the Legions of the Damned to keep his shops open
All Mr S Atan wanted in return was my eternal soul, and as it doesn’t exist I was happy to sign it over.
Weinstein tests positive and begins 23 years isolation
He is well cared for, the neighbours are keeping a close eye on him, meals are shipped in and the alzheimer’s is coming along nicely
The Chatty Chimp 