Government plans to ease the NHS backlog by using Physician Associates, “at leasr you’ll get to see someone” says Minister
NHS turns to Shamen, spiritualists and colour therapists to ease staffing crisis
Following the Stockton row the Tories celebrate their first fact-checking success
After years of fact checking Tories finally win one. Although Not So then went on to deny he’d said it, thereby returning to form.
Hunt announces benefit increase for soon-to-be unemployable MPs
As a record number of Tory MPs lose their five jobs, Hunt brings in TWAT Relief to help out.
The COVID Inquiry runs out of f%&*ing swear words
It’s a fu$%ing swear word, don’t let it distract you from what is really going on.
Conference Tories to win back voters with a bribe fuelled culture war, again
By legalising the killing of grandparents young people will finally be able to get on to the housing ladder.
Harvey the Rabbit joins Sunak’s imaginary cabinet
Imaginary laws require an imaginary cabinet ,after all we are making this up as we go along.
Kemi Badenoch signs historic trade deal with Ming the Merciless
Governments says the trade deal will add as much money to the UK economy as Premier League players spend on haircuts.
South East Water surprised by the sudden arrival of summer
By extending Wimbledon to 6 weeks, holding Glastonbury fortnightly and making every Monday a bank holiday we should get enough water for the summer.
Uxbridge chooses Boris Johnson as their Village Idiot
Boris is such an idiot that he struggles to find Uxbridge on a map, let alone visit the place.
Hunt hails ‘historic’ budget as he unveils free doggy day care for all
Free doggy day care and some other rubbish about pension benefits for the rich and the workhouse for the sick, disabled and over-fifties.
Waitrose opens a Tory Refugee Centre in Guilford
Right-whingers have become an oppressed minority and they need somewhere safe to be racist, sexist homophobic royalists.
BBC makes a Schrödinger’s Apology to St Gary of Lineker
When is an apology not an apology? “Usually when you have done something wrong!” Says Sigmund F
The Chatty Chimp 