Apart from Amritsar, the Mau Mau, the Irish Famine, the Slave Trade, Concentration Camps, Partition and Famine in India WHAT HAVE THE BRITISH EVER DONE FOR US?
‘Keep the statues’ says the blonde balloon.
Attempts to organise a piss-up in a brewery on hold
Failing to ‘pour himself a pint’ from the brewery’s 8,000 barrels, causing a fire and drowning several staff members
The Silent Majority, Choir Invisibule and Absent Friends join Trump Rally
One delegate from The Silent Majority said, “……………..”
Political transfer market is open for business
No other country has come in with a bid for Boris, even America would rather stick with Donald
BBC replace Newsnight host because she is too intelligent
We can’t have a woman blowing apart the Government’s bullshit, through thoughtful and responsible journalism!
Booker Prize For Fiction goes to Dominic Cummoffit
Described as a fantastical tale, that confused the reader and explained nothing, the prize committee said it was a worthy winner.
Government ruse extends Cummings garden by 250 miles
It’s not his fault his begonias are 250 miles away! he is allowed to tend his own garden.
Boris Johnson insists that Dominic Raab retake his Geography GCSE
he couldn’t find his arse with both hands, he once got lost in a corner, and he had to be rescued after becoming stuck up the wrong creek, sans paddle
The Government have handled Covid-19 brilliantly, says Boris
We did everything we could, when we should have done it, even though we didn’t know what we were doing!
Bojocchio becomes locked in Downing Street
As Bojocchio’s nose kept growing, every time he spoke, the emergency carpenter’s services are to be retained on a permanent basis.
Cupid issues a public apology to Carrie Symonds
“I’ll get myself down to Specsavers, should have gone there in the first place” says Cupid
Cabinet Ministers, hedge fund managers and wealthy businessmen launch a £3B Social Aid Fund
Having benefited from everything that our society has to offer, it was the least we could do to give something back.
The Chatty Chimp 