Finally it’s time to resolve the age old dilemma, Marmite, Love it or Hate it, you get to decide. Unfortunately the country seems divided once again.
Marmite demands a referendum – do we hate it or love it?
Jeremy Corbyn promises free kittens and puppies for everyone
Jeremy Corbyn promises every house a new puppy or kitten if Labour win the next election, the plan will be paid through increased tax on Dog Jacket makers.
Nicola Sturgeon Sits Behind Sky News Chair Running In General Election
Nicola Sturgeon backs Vote Chair campaign, as it’s invited to Scotland where she’s hoping to capitalise on The Chair’s increasing popularity
Musk says ‘Tesla Ich bin ein Binliner’
The world’s fastest growing car company set up their European base in Germany, not Britain because of Brexit. It’s like Musk doesn’t know we won the war!
Boris Johnson Attempts To Abolish Australia
Boris Johnson has decided to finally resolve the Australia issue by engaging in inherent racism and poorly judged stereotypes before annexation
Driver accused of killing the planet by having a full tank of petrol
Driver commits the environmental sin of ‘tanking’, where running with a full tank burns more fuel than using just enough petrol to get to your destination.
Boris sends his favourite bath-sponge to help the people of South Yorkshire
Boris Johnson’s responds to the flooding crisis in South Yorkshire by sending his favourite bath-sponge. They aren’t Tory consituencies, so why bother?
Boris Johnson To Outlaw Furniture Following Popular Sky News Chair’s General Election Run
Boris Johnson has been losing ground to the Sky News Office Chair and has responded by outlawing furniture. Meanwhile The Chair’s popularity increases daily
Sky News Office Chair To Run In General Election
The Sky News Office Chair is to run in the General Election. Since out performing James Cleverly in a recent interview, the chair’s popularity has soared.
The Conservative Party Apology Template (GE19 Edition)
Once again the Tory party has managed to offend just abouit everyone who is not a party member. Here is the party’s apology template, for daily use.
“Sorry, forget my own head next” says Jacob Rees-Mogg
Even though the Election isn’t underway the strain is clearly telling on JRM. Thinking he was discussing Brexit, it turned out to be Grenfell. Juggins!
Tory wins seat after saying “Benefit claimants should be put down!”
Tory candidate wins seat in GE2019 by a landslide after suggesting that Benefit Claimants should be put down. Tory HQ very excited by the proposal.
The Chatty Chimp 