“Mass market masses for the masses” said the Pope. “Get your blessings here! £10 a blessing. Hands laid on for free.” Said the Archbish of C.
What Christ really said about the Christmas Market
Harrods accidentally hires Satan for the Christmas Grotto
Harrods hires Satan for the Grotto, second-rate guitarists, Apprentice candidates and Tory MP’s are queuing out the door!
Boris reassures the nation’s kids that there is no shortage of Xmas toys
Of course there is a shortage of Xmas toys, Boris has bought them all for his kids!
‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ slammed for encouraging lockdown breaches
“This song is incredibly insensitive, with its insidious subtext and elitist culture” says woke singleton, Paul
This year’s must-have Xmas gift is the Apple iSock
Just in time for Xmas, Apple unveils this year’s must have Xmas gift, the eagerly anticipated iSock X
Xmas cheer as Lockdown means Uncle Jack isn’t coming for Xmas
I grew up with him, so you get used to it, but it’ no fun for the rest of the family.
Fat Santa told to shield during the bleak mid-winter
Fat Santa ordered to shield from Corona Virus as his weight, diet and lifestyle means he’s in the high-risk group.
Man with a slight head cold insists he is on the verge of death
Man with a slight head cold insists he is on the verge of death, whilst his wife is less than sympathetic.
Mum saves time by throwing the Xmas Food shop into the bin
Mum saves time at Xmas by throwing he Xmas food shop straight into the bun
Jacob Rees-Mogg gets Hampshire for Xmas
In answer to the question: This Xmas what do you get the man who has everything? In Jacob Rees-Mogg’s case, the answer is the county of Hampshire.
Middle-aged man loses his dignity at the office Xmas party
Middle-aged man has his Xmas party spoilt after a young girl ‘disrespects’ him.
The PC Christmas Card, guaranteed to take the joy out of Xmas
Totally PC Christmas Card unveiled. Guaranteed to take the joy out of the holiday season.
The Chatty Chimp 