This will go down a treat in the Tory heartlands and with the Daily Mail, says Priti Patel
UN Criticises Priti Patel for using Doctor’s receptionists to repel migrants
Unlike Gavin, can you tell if this man plays rugby or football?
The man can’t tell the difference between rugby and football, it’s outrageous. It’s just not cricket!
Guild of Fairies denies any association with Boris Johnson
The fairies deny any association with Boris Johnson and they are up in arms at the suggestion, the unicorns aren’t too chuffed either.
Queen’s funeral plans released, British tat makers say “Kerching, Ma’am”
As Britain contemplates life under King Charlie, souvenir tea towel makers are ramping up production.
Shapps introduces conscription to end HGV Driver shortage
Conscription will make the most of teenagers ability to sit on their arse for hours on end, while eating junk food and farting. said Shatts
Amazon Prime hits the jackpot with their new series, Clarkson Takes A Dump
Amazon Prime, really rubbing our noses in it.
Charlie Duckins turns to our Victorian Problem Pages for help and advice
For there is little that troubleth a man more, than an errant wife.
Italy v England, what’s the difference?
Having relegated Middlesbrough, we thought Gareth Southgate was perfect for the England job, says FA Spokesman.
Rumours of The Chatty Chimp’s demise were a little previous
Chatty’s back and he’s bloody annoyed with England’s plastic patriots. You’ve woken him from his afternoon nap.
The Boris Johnson apology template to be used by Matt (TFH) Hancock
The official Cabinet Minster Apology Template, currently being used by Matt Hancock
Long lost Charlie Duckins poem discovered in Chatty’s archives
I wish I was your bumble bee, my heart all true and solemn, I’d buzz around your honey-pot and suckle on your pollen
It’s time for The Chatty Chimp to wander off in search of a new tyre swing
The Chatty Chimp says goodbye.c
The Chatty Chimp 