The Tea Lady was unavailable, having just bought a 4 bed house in the Cotswolds, a new car and a French holiday home.
Education Department sack the tea lady as exam row rumbles on
What A Carry On! starring Sid Johnson, Kenneth Williamson and Hatti Patel
The plot is ruddy hilarious, you’d think it could never happen in real life, but it has
Gavin, why did you do that to me? cries chronic underachiever
“I was quite happy with the downgrade, it saved an awkward conversation with my over achieving parents. I just want to go to Uni to drink, smoke pot and meet girls that I’ll totally fail to get off with.” Typical Student
For Scrying Out Loud
Government to replace the algorithm with scrying and casting the runes.
Government changes procurement rules to the Service Contract Assignment Method (SCAM)
The Service Contract Assignment Method will ensure transparency when it comes to bribes and back handers
Ryan Air launch Calais/Dover Ferry Service
Anyone refusing to pay, has the option to swim, after all, it’s a free country. What’s more, our landing points are miles away from anywhere, just like the real thing!
Chris Grayling earns his own chapter in The Book of Heroic Failures
With a Government majority of 80, the PM’s support, and Cummings strategizing he still lost to someone nobody had heard of!
Chris Grayling is The Secret Barrister
The regular attacks on Chris Grayling, by Secret, were a cunning plan to throw investigators off the scent.
Attempts to organise a piss-up in a brewery on hold
Failing to ‘pour himself a pint’ from the brewery’s 8,000 barrels, causing a fire and drowning several staff members
Where’s Wally sponsor Boris’s world-beating Track and Trace Programme
The 3 book training programme; Wally goes to Barnard Castle, Wally goes to Specsavers and Wally’s in the Rose Garden.
Stay Alert and keep 2 metres away from The Daily Mail
If you are accidently exposed to The Daily Mail, please contact the authorities and book counselling, pictures of puppies may alleviate your distress.
Bojocchio becomes locked in Downing Street
As Bojocchio’s nose kept growing, every time he spoke, the emergency carpenter’s services are to be retained on a permanent basis.
The Chatty Chimp 