University Challenge has ruled out Jeremy Corbyn as an answer to anything. After years of trying they are unable to come up with a suitable question.
University Challenge rules out ‘Corbyn’ as answer to anything
List of Things Jeremy Corbyn Does and Doesn’t Give A F*ck About
In an effort to understand Jezza, some very bright people have put together a list of things Jeremy Corbyn does and does not give a f*ck about.
Jo Cox is ‘cool’ with Boris Johnson’s banter, says medium
A genuine psychic says that Jo Cox is cool with Boris Johnson’s banter and that since being dead she has changed her mind over Brexit and righteous smiting.
The Yellow Submarine To Be Repurposed As A Trident Nuclear Sub
The Beatles legendary Yellow Submarine is to be re-purposed as a Trident Nuclear Submarine. As it’s to be based in Scotland no one cares.
Corbyn shits and gets off the pot but not in that order
Corbyn shits and gets off the pot but not necessarily in the right order, he refuses to shoot fish in a barrel, hit a cows arse with a banjo or shell peas.
Leaked memo reveals the truth behind some of Boris Johnson’s lies
Undergoing treatment for his chronic inability to tell the truth, Boris Johnson’s therapist’s notes have been leaked to the media.
Guardianista in hiding after shamefully agreeing with Piers Morgan
Guardian-reading snowflake hides away in shame after agreeing with something said by Piers Morgan. He’s unable to live down the shame of it.
Boris Johnson offers Geoffrey Cox use of his personal apology template
Calamitous clown Boris Johnson has offered the AG, Geoffrey Cox, use of his personal apology template. ‘Everything you need is there’ said Boris.
Ministry Of Defence lock up lazy Scottish Tourist
The Ministry of Defence has locked up a tired Scottish Tourist after he had a ‘bit of a sit down’ on their steps. He’s now rotting in a Vietnamese Hell Hole
“I’d have gotten away with it were it not for those pesky kids!” cries Boris
Masterplan foiled. “I’d have gotten away with it were it not for thise pesky kids!” cries Bozo The Clown. Sweet old Lady saved by Scooby and The Gang!
Benefit cuts force elderly pensioners back to work
Cuts to pension income means elderly folk are returning to work in order to make ends meet. Legendary Band, The Who are one group doing just that.
Flatmates force Scotland to Move Out in row over living arrangements
Trouble in the flat tonight after Scotland announced she has had enough and was moving out. She’s found a nice wee place just off the coast of Cumbria.
The Chatty Chimp 