Using a great fire to make people homeless is a small price to pay for making me even richer, says Sir Richard Head.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose the sneakiest one of all?
Under the rule of six, the dwarves are cut down to five; Gropey, Dunc, Baleful, Sleazy and Creepy.
Three of the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse are in quarantine
Corona Virus pandemic has forced three of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse into self-isolation Death, however, is still at work.
Everyone is to be issued with a Zorb ball
Everyone will get a Zorbing Ball, that way they can socially distance, stay safe and save the plastics industry.
Clean Your Fridge Campaign launched as mouldy food achieves sentience
The mould evolved after the internet enabled fridge accessed Google
Boris brings in the Mounties to run Track and Trace
The Mountie’s always get their man, so we are going to use that expertise to track down the contacts and bring them in.
Government to boost national mood with Meh! Britannia, Spitfire production and Jingoism
Spitfire production will restart in Swindon, when the Honda factory closes down. Britannia will rule again.
Hell plans to increase capacity in its 8th and 9th circles
The sudden influx of the damned has raised concerns about Lucifer’s planning of the COVID pandemic
Track and Trace find’s Lord Lucan
Look at what we have found, A left-sided English mid-fielder, Lord Lucan and the rest of Boris’s children
Australia transports Tony Abbott to Britain
Now that Britain has become a hostile, racist, sexist and homophobic backwater, who better to represent it than me?
AI Programme, Tantrum Extremis v10, takes over Brexit negotiations
Based on the negotiating profile of a 7 yr, old the new programme looks to upset his opponent by throwing his toys out of the pram, on a daily basis.
BBC to cancel their remaining funny programmes
As BBC Comedy moves to the political right, Mock The Week will be re-branded as Mock The Weak.