What’s the point of being a rich, powerful, connected, white-man if you can’t do who the hell you like?
Ex-Prince Andrew pays out millions despite having done nothing wrong
Queen to testify that she saw Andrew in Pizza Express
El Queenie to appear in a NYC Court. The Yanks love a Queen, she’ll blow them away, says over entitled twat.
Man stockpiles his own ’emissions’ as gas shortages mount
This could open new job opportunities in gas creation. Imagine hundreds of middle aged men spending all day drinking beer and eating curry. Heaven,
BBC News in meltdown as young Prince makes tinkle without Nanny
Meanwhile the mop used to clean the toilet is for sale on EBAY, where a Mr N Witch is winning with a bid of £2,000.
“Europeansuperleagueistotallyatrocious” says Mary Poppins
It’s not supercalifragilisticexpialidocious it’s Europeansuperleagueistotallyatrocious
Priti Patel claims she is innocent after massive pay-off to bullying victim
We would like to make it clear that there is no suggestion that an enormous cash pay off in anyway suggests that Priti Patel is guilty, absolutely not.
Gove confirms he hasn’t got any mates to give PPE contracts to
At times it’s hard to be Tory, when you don’t have any friends to give fat, juicy, Corona Virus contracts to.
I like Frucking and I like to Fruck, If you don’t like Frucking, tough luck*
“Look, Boris, put your frucks away, I won’t tell you again!” says Nanny, in a forceful tone
Owner of the original Time Machine now in Government
A man of portly stature, a buffoon type, blustering, with his clownish personality hiding a manipulative and coercive nature.
Applications for OIrish citizenship increase by 63 million on No-Deal Brexit
Jacob Sea-Fogg confirmed he was ok as he’d moved all his money to Dublin and bought County Kildare.
This year’s must-have Xmas gift is the Apple iSock
Just in time for Xmas, Apple unveils this year’s must have Xmas gift, the eagerly anticipated iSock X
Gandalf, Bilbo and Frodo are leaving the Shire for the Elven Tax Havens
It was bad enough when the Council of Elrond was prorogued, but after Wetherspoons took over the Prancing Pony at Bree, that was the final straw.
The Chatty Chimp 