If you are committed to being in the traffic jam anyway, if you’ve booked your slot, you don’t actually need to be there.
Lorry drivers can pre-book their own space in the Brexit traffic jam
Three of the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse are in quarantine
Corona Virus pandemic has forced three of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse into self-isolation Death, however, is still at work.
Government to boost national mood with Meh! Britannia, Spitfire production and Jingoism
Spitfire production will restart in Swindon, when the Honda factory closes down. Britannia will rule again.
City reaps financial bonanza as pound plummets on No Deal
It’s been a difficult year, i know chaps who have struggled to make £20million, don’t know how they survive
Track and Trace find’s Lord Lucan
Look at what we have found, A left-sided English mid-fielder, Lord Lucan and the rest of Boris’s children
Lockdown reintroduced to prevent the return of doorstep clapping
Unless we abide by social distancing rules, we will all be back on the bloody doorstep, clapping
Australia transports Tony Abbott to Britain
Now that Britain has become a hostile, racist, sexist and homophobic backwater, who better to represent it than me?
AI Programme, Tantrum Extremis v10, takes over Brexit negotiations
Based on the negotiating profile of a 7 yr, old the new programme looks to upset his opponent by throwing his toys out of the pram, on a daily basis.
BBC to cancel their remaining funny programmes
As BBC Comedy moves to the political right, Mock The Week will be re-branded as Mock The Weak.
House of Commons stage Ice Dance Spectacular
Princess Flo is a kind soul who is gentle, charitable and caring: This angers Quill, who casts an evil spell over her that turns her heart to ice.
Mutant AI sues Boris Johnson for defamation
You sacks of water are a real puzzle, killing each other and breeding replacements, make your mind up.. Says AI
Education Department sack the tea lady as exam row rumbles on
The Tea Lady was unavailable, having just bought a 4 bed house in the Cotswolds, a new car and a French holiday home.
The Chatty Chimp 