Everyone will get a Zorbing Ball, that way they can socially distance, stay safe and save the plastics industry.
Everyone is to be issued with a Zorb ball
Clean Your Fridge Campaign launched as mouldy food achieves sentience
The mould evolved after the internet enabled fridge accessed Google
Millionaire winner celebrates with a caravan holiday
If he didn’t know what to do with it, he could have phoned a friend!
Boris brings in the Mounties to run Track and Trace
The Mountie’s always get their man, so we are going to use that expertise to track down the contacts and bring them in.
Government to boost national mood with Meh! Britannia, Spitfire production and Jingoism
Spitfire production will restart in Swindon, when the Honda factory closes down. Britannia will rule again.
City reaps financial bonanza as pound plummets on No Deal
It’s been a difficult year, i know chaps who have struggled to make £20million, don’t know how they survive
Hell plans to increase capacity in its 8th and 9th circles
The sudden influx of the damned has raised concerns about Lucifer’s planning of the COVID pandemic
Track and Trace find’s Lord Lucan
Look at what we have found, A left-sided English mid-fielder, Lord Lucan and the rest of Boris’s children
Lockdown reintroduced to prevent the return of doorstep clapping
Unless we abide by social distancing rules, we will all be back on the bloody doorstep, clapping
Australia transports Tony Abbott to Britain
Now that Britain has become a hostile, racist, sexist and homophobic backwater, who better to represent it than me?
AI Programme, Tantrum Extremis v10, takes over Brexit negotiations
Based on the negotiating profile of a 7 yr, old the new programme looks to upset his opponent by throwing his toys out of the pram, on a daily basis.
BBC to cancel their remaining funny programmes
As BBC Comedy moves to the political right, Mock The Week will be re-branded as Mock The Weak.
The Chatty Chimp 