Bavard Bar caption competition
Tonight’s Bavard Bar Caption Competition
Where’s Wally sponsor Boris’s world-beating Track and Trace Programme
The 3 book training programme; Wally goes to Barnard Castle, Wally goes to Specsavers and Wally’s in the Rose Garden.
BBC replace Newsnight host because she is too intelligent
We can’t have a woman blowing apart the Government’s bullshit, through thoughtful and responsible journalism!
Booker Prize For Fiction goes to Dominic Cummoffit
Described as a fantastical tale, that confused the reader and explained nothing, the prize committee said it was a worthy winner.
Government ruse extends Cummings garden by 250 miles
It’s not his fault his begonias are 250 miles away! he is allowed to tend his own garden.
The Internet cannot be broken by a post about plastic hooks, says Expert
A post about yellow plastic hooks can’t break the internet says expert but Traci says hers stopped working after viewing the post
Quarantined footballer discovers a book
Man Utd player asks for the EPL to be delayed so he can finish his book
Boris Johnson insists that Dominic Raab retake his Geography GCSE
he couldn’t find his arse with both hands, he once got lost in a corner, and he had to be rescued after becoming stuck up the wrong creek, sans paddle
Stay Alert and keep 2 metres away from The Daily Mail
If you are accidently exposed to The Daily Mail, please contact the authorities and book counselling, pictures of puppies may alleviate your distress.
The Government have handled Covid-19 brilliantly, says Boris
We did everything we could, when we should have done it, even though we didn’t know what we were doing!
Bojocchio becomes locked in Downing Street
As Bojocchio’s nose kept growing, every time he spoke, the emergency carpenter’s services are to be retained on a permanent basis.
Last week’s Bavard Bar Caption Competition
Bavard Bar caption competition
The Chatty Chimp 