Elite organisations that hold the power, the money and all the influence. What could be wrong with that?
Eton, Oxford and The Royal Family outlawed as White Supremacist Groups
Booker Prize For Fiction goes to Dominic Cummoffit
Described as a fantastical tale, that confused the reader and explained nothing, the prize committee said it was a worthy winner.
Government ruse extends Cummings garden by 250 miles
It’s not his fault his begonias are 250 miles away! he is allowed to tend his own garden.
The Government have handled Covid-19 brilliantly, says Boris
We did everything we could, when we should have done it, even though we didn’t know what we were doing!
Rebellious Retirees Rumbled
Matt makes a right Hancock out of rules for the over 70s as lockdown eases
Lawyers acting for the baby demand paternity test
Spokesmen for Eton, Oxford U and Ford Open Prison have confirmed that the baby is on the waiting list.
Cupid issues a public apology to Carrie Symonds
“I’ll get myself down to Specsavers, should have gone there in the first place” says Cupid
Cabinet Ministers, hedge fund managers and wealthy businessmen launch a £3B Social Aid Fund
Having benefited from everything that our society has to offer, it was the least we could do to give something back.
Police to enforce social distancing by using a British Yardstick
The French will make The British Yardstick by cutting the handles off OAP’s walking sticks. Under EU rules, the stick will be in meters.
Priti Patel to fight for UFC title under the name Paticake
“I can take those bitches down. I eat pussies like you for breakfast” says Paticake
The Psychotic Gunman of The Year Award goes to …
And the award for the ’employee thought most likely to machine gun a roomful of colleagues’ is…
Corona Virus outbreak means we can all stop hugging each other
Millions of Brits are secretly relieved that the outbreak of the Corona Virus means they can stop hugging people they barely know. For the last twenty years the British people have been […]
The Chatty Chimp 