After same-sex marriage was legalised in Northern Ireland the DUP were gutted to learn it wasn’t compulsory
DUP outraged to discover homosexuality isn’t compulsory
Jacob Rees-Mogg wins BAFTA for his role in Dracula
Jacob Rees-Mogg wins a Best Actor BAFTA for Dracula. He was so believable as the callous, rapacious blood sucker, it was as though he were a Vampire.
Man with a slight head cold insists he is on the verge of death
Man with a slight head cold insists he is on the verge of death, whilst his wife is less than sympathetic.
Harry and Meghan withdraw from full time Royalling
Harry and Meghan have left the family firm and are starting out on their own. He’s handy with a spanner and she’ll be great at selling on QVC
Film Crew Exploiting Australian Bush Fire For Disaster Film “Koalageddon” Arrested
There is a burning bush down under that some men are trying to put out with their big hoses. Film at 11.
Boris admits soldiers will die in Iraq but it’s a sacrifice he’s willing to make
America, peacefully pacifying the middle-east through the use of very friendly bombs.
The Pointless Awards Ceremony – Valuing the valueless
Rewarding the mediocre, crediting the credulous and valuing the valueless. This year’s most meaningless award goes to It’s All Bollocks Ltd for something.
Johnson upset Trump didn’t tell him to buy oil
Johnson laments the opportunity to make a few bucks following the assassination of Soleimani
Derek Acorah, noted psychic, spiritualist and medium dies unexpectedly
Following the death of the noted psychic, Derek Acorah, he announces details of his new series, Death is not the Final Word.
Downing Street Gridlocked Following Boris Johnson’s Call To Interview “Weirdos” For Government
A call has gone out to recruit weirdos to run the country as the existing weirdos are not doing a good enough job
Pope Francis to star in Rocky 8 ‘Who’s the Daddy?’
In the Red Corner, The Holy Roller himself, it’s The Pope and in the Blue Corner the undisputed hero Crocky Balboa
The Chatty Chimp 