Millennial Hipster, Skye Nation was left traumatised after buying coffee from a coffee chain.
Hipster traumatised after buying coffee from a chain
Gloop launches new Vampire Repellent spray
Have you seen a vampire? No, well that’s proof that it works!
Met Office to reboot Stonehenge in IT upgrade
The Stonehenge will give real-time data. If it’s wet, there’s rain about, shady it’ll be sunny and if a top stone is on the ground there’ll be a bit of a blow
Terrorists think attacking Prince Andy will harm their reputation
Terrorists think attacking Prince Andy will harm their reputation so security services have removed his personal protection squad.
Greggs to produce Gwyneth Paltrow flavoured muffins
I want people to feel that when they are eating my muff we are both connected through the essential mother universe
Jacob Rees-Mogg wins BAFTA for his role in Dracula
Jacob Rees-Mogg wins a Best Actor BAFTA for Dracula. He was so believable as the callous, rapacious blood sucker, it was as though he were a Vampire.
Harry and Meghan withdraw from full time Royalling
Harry and Meghan have left the family firm and are starting out on their own. He’s handy with a spanner and she’ll be great at selling on QVC
Boris admits soldiers will die in Iraq but it’s a sacrifice he’s willing to make
America, peacefully pacifying the middle-east through the use of very friendly bombs.
The Pointless Awards Ceremony – Valuing the valueless
Rewarding the mediocre, crediting the credulous and valuing the valueless. This year’s most meaningless award goes to It’s All Bollocks Ltd for something.
Johnson upset Trump didn’t tell him to buy oil
Johnson laments the opportunity to make a few bucks following the assassination of Soleimani
Derek Acorah, noted psychic, spiritualist and medium dies unexpectedly
Following the death of the noted psychic, Derek Acorah, he announces details of his new series, Death is not the Final Word.
Middle-aged man loses his dignity at the office Xmas party
Middle-aged man has his Xmas party spoilt after a young girl ‘disrespects’ him.
The Chatty Chimp 