Of course Australia doesn’t have a FTA with the EU, there are some individual deals in place but then it is 6,000 miles away, so who cares?
UK gets barbies, cork hats and pissy lager in Aussie-style Brexit
Baggy Johnson searches for his Churchill moment
As Boris sits in the Downing Street War Room, pushing wooden blocks about with a broom, dreams of glory in his mind, the nation faces its darkest hour!
Scottish Government’s job search App says “Yer Da Sells Avon!”
Selling Avon is opening so many doors! Have you seen our new concealer? I use it myself.
Kent to be given to France and renamed Frangleterre
Anyone entering Frangleterre will require a blue passport, travel insurance and a GB sticker on the back of the car.
Testing fiasco as Matt and Dido run out of fingers and toes to count on
Even though Matt took off his shoes, they couldn’t keep up with the rising numbers.
Asylum seekers to be sent to a remote island, just not this one
The Orkneys, Shetlands and Anglesey are popular destinations as they are miles away from London.
e-gull drones to disperse illegal crowds, raves and demo’s
E-Gulls can stay up for hours, monitoring events before squawking, pooping and flying down to nick your chips
The Federal United King Dom
As Britain proceeds to turn itself into a Domocracy, it will cease to be the UK and become Royally FUKD.
Drones to deliver e-bollockings to groups of 6 or more
Howler drones will identify groups of more than 6, then they will deliver an e-bollocking until they’ve gone
Big rock misses the Earth by 300 million miles
Everyday millions of tons of space rock, debris and old Tesla’s fly past the Earth. It’s nothing to be worried about.
Lorry drivers can pre-book their own space in the Brexit traffic jam
If you are committed to being in the traffic jam anyway, if you’ve booked your slot, you don’t actually need to be there.
Three of the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse are in quarantine
Corona Virus pandemic has forced three of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse into self-isolation Death, however, is still at work.
The Chatty Chimp 